Talk:Lin Yao-tang

{{#assessment:TRA World Building|A|NA}}

Infobox

• Leader of the FDP in infobox shuld be spelt out

Lede

• "Member of the Legislative Assembly" >> "member of the Legislative Assembly"
• "two years after the initiation of martial law by Shao Yaoting in the Kingdom of Monsilva" relevance?
• "Lin was an active ordinary member of the Legislative Assembly" when?
• "Lin was appointed as the Minister for Defense in Lee's cabinet. As Minister for Defense," lowercase minister of defense
• link Global ACES
• Condense lede into being 4 paragraphs

Main body

• "1965 to 1970 and 1980 to 1992" don't link elections in these years, it doesn't look good
• "the Civil Service. As a member of the civil service"- inconsistent capitalization for the Civil Service- capitalized or not?
• "Premier of Wuzhong" lowercase premier
• However your page has a sentence starting with "however"
• put FDP abbreviation after the party's first metnion
• DO NOT USE THE REFERENCE SYSTEM TO MAKE NOTES, IT IS FOR -->REFERENCES<--!!! USE THE NOTETAG/NOTELIST SYSTEM, BECAUSE IT IS FOR -->NOTES<--!!! 🤯 🤯 🤯 🤯 🤯 🤯 🤯 🤯 (you can tell Creeper is serious because he's using emojis on a wikipedia page)
• "In March 2024, he was chosen as the Freedom and Democracy Party's candidate for Shuanglong constituency for the 2004 federal election." March 2024 seems a bit late to find up you've been chosen to run in an election two decades prior.
• "Although Shuanglong was considered an FDP safe seat" considered by who?
• "Lin remained an ordinary member" what is an 'ordinary member'?
• "Lin has never explicitly revealed why he declined the opportunity, with some speculating he did not want to serve under Suen Shi-huang, while others say he simply did not feel ready and wanted to wait another term." -- is there any consensus among experts as to what they believe is the actual reason?-- if not this is fine as it is
• " serve as the Minister for Defense in his cabinet" lowercase minister of defense
• do not capitalize the titles of ministers (except in the headers and infobox, that's ok)
• "After being accused of jeopardizing Monsilva's safety by joining the alliance by a journalist in 2017" -- what journalist, why is he relevant
• "who he believed was not fit for the position" why?
• "Lin was disciplined by the Speaker of the Legislative Assembly for frequently interrupting Shen during one of his speeches with corrections to what he was saying" Lin be like: 🤓 🤓 🤓 🤓 🤓 🤓 🤓 🤓 🤓
• an explanation of what a "shadow minister" in prose or in a note is would be helpful
• not holding against you, but per MOS:FOREIGNQUOTE a translation of quotes should be included after each quote. look at the example article for how to do it. if u use Chinese characters do not italicize
• "First Shadow Cabinet" "Second Shadow Cabinet" lowercase shadow cabinet
• Be sure to mention that Shaoyu was called Akvatika by Zlov
• "which will invade Shaoyu" will -> would
• having a table of his electoral history would be nice (is not strictly necessary)
• "Lin's political positions have been described as "pragmatic" and "centrist"" -- but described by who?
• "socially progressive movements in matters relating to race, disability and LGBT" LGBT -> sexual and gender orientation?

Page rating: A W/ all corrections, FA

Spode (talk) 22:06, 4 August 2024 (EDT)